Well, well, well...............heres another year drawing to a close, another 365 days of slogging it out there, trying to be the best, a year of attempts and failures and half fulfilled promises, and on the personal front a year of disasters.
So I can only say that Im glad that finally 2007 is passing me by, and though the future is still an unseen journey, I prefer it to just being stuck in some place and ruminating on things of the past, things I have no control over.
I am not with friends right now, Im not having a blast this new year's eve, infact I might even say that Im quite bored, but just the thought that all the bad things that have happened this year are over is enough to liven up my spirits. Yes, bad things have happened but the lessons that these incidences teach are invaluable and so bad things aren't bad in their entirety.
Im up on my feet, and though things are far from being satisfactory, I have the courage to dream once in a while.
If you are reading this, let me take the opportunity to wish you a very happy new year. As for me, compared to what the last year has been, the next year can only be happier.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Happy
As one goes along in life, beliefs change, ever so often in a very radical manner. People learn to adapt to circumstances, change becomes a virtue of our existance and we, like well trained horses keep our eyes focussed straight ahead on the track, on our fellow competitors, lest they should defeat us in this agonizing race of ever changing fortunes.
It is amazing, the nature of man, how he learns to forget the past, or maybe that is just another way of saying how he is made to forget his past for reasons which at best are yet to be undersood. In the event of a personal tragedy it is so easy to find consolation; yet so much of it is out of obligation that even before the tears dry out, one is left all alone. The faces that seemed to offer a refuge merely vanish into the mob of self-defeating mockery from where they had emerged. It is true, that under such circumstances, you will find a shoulder to rest on, and more often than not, that shoulder will be your own.
Socialising is upheld as a quality, indeed, one needs to be special in order to have friends. You need to be special for someone to care for you, you need to be polished so that the ones around you can see what a gem of a person you are. Again, its about keeping up appearances, the better you are at pretending, the greater are your chances of being popular.
For me, the few things that I have learnt about life has been an amazing education. One need not always go through a rough patch to understand these things but a hands-on experience is worth its weight in gold.Personal tragedies are like sandpaper,they bruise to the core but leave a smooth surface at the end.
Im quite confused,sometimes regarding what I want from life,and it is easy to let the feeling of unfulfillment be overwhelming but I think that whatever I have got till now,though not all of them I have right now,is more than enough for a person like me to be happy,and so I am.............happy.
It is amazing, the nature of man, how he learns to forget the past, or maybe that is just another way of saying how he is made to forget his past for reasons which at best are yet to be undersood. In the event of a personal tragedy it is so easy to find consolation; yet so much of it is out of obligation that even before the tears dry out, one is left all alone. The faces that seemed to offer a refuge merely vanish into the mob of self-defeating mockery from where they had emerged. It is true, that under such circumstances, you will find a shoulder to rest on, and more often than not, that shoulder will be your own.
Socialising is upheld as a quality, indeed, one needs to be special in order to have friends. You need to be special for someone to care for you, you need to be polished so that the ones around you can see what a gem of a person you are. Again, its about keeping up appearances, the better you are at pretending, the greater are your chances of being popular.
For me, the few things that I have learnt about life has been an amazing education. One need not always go through a rough patch to understand these things but a hands-on experience is worth its weight in gold.Personal tragedies are like sandpaper,they bruise to the core but leave a smooth surface at the end.
Im quite confused,sometimes regarding what I want from life,and it is easy to let the feeling of unfulfillment be overwhelming but I think that whatever I have got till now,though not all of them I have right now,is more than enough for a person like me to be happy,and so I am.............happy.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Facade
Where brave words of wisdom do no good,
Where sharpness of the mind sets to no advantage,
Where the steadfast drowsiness Acquired from worthless acquisations has no meaning;
To such a clan, to such a land do I belong.
Forced to run on a barren green,
Asked to laugh when tears were all I had.
In a world where emotions are mere juxtapositions of gloom,
A platitude for men to ponder upon, to fight for and to die in vain.
Numbness of the soul, death of the inner self,
Shrowded in darkness beyond the sight of those who have eyes
And into and over the unknown vales
Spreads a plague that rots from the inside,
That kills the mind, poisons the soul and hurts the eye.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
PRISONER OF A THOUGHT
Can you describe a feeling?
How it feels when you reach out
Expecting the familiar touch
Of those warm hands, something
You had got so accustomed to,
Something you believed would always be there;
And then you open your eyes
And there in your hands lies emptiness,
Not the comfort of everlasting love
But a fragrance released
By the floodgates of memory,
Chaining your future to your past
And fading out your present,
Making it dwell in a room
Where there is only one window,
Through which all that you believed in,
Lies submerged in a gory shadowiness.
The knowledge of something so close to heart,
That it turns scary as days grow into years,
And the passing seconds count your fears.
At a time like this wouldn’t you
Want to be blind?
Wouldn’t you want to drift away in time?
Would you not want to give up sight for consciousness’ eyes?
Wouldn’t there be a craving to believe in lies?
When you know that the hands you seek shall never be there,
A memory, bound and gagged, sentenced to the electric chair.
How it feels when you reach out
Expecting the familiar touch
Of those warm hands, something
You had got so accustomed to,
Something you believed would always be there;
And then you open your eyes
And there in your hands lies emptiness,
Not the comfort of everlasting love
But a fragrance released
By the floodgates of memory,
Chaining your future to your past
And fading out your present,
Making it dwell in a room
Where there is only one window,
Through which all that you believed in,
Lies submerged in a gory shadowiness.
The knowledge of something so close to heart,
That it turns scary as days grow into years,
And the passing seconds count your fears.
At a time like this wouldn’t you
Want to be blind?
Wouldn’t you want to drift away in time?
Would you not want to give up sight for consciousness’ eyes?
Wouldn’t there be a craving to believe in lies?
When you know that the hands you seek shall never be there,
A memory, bound and gagged, sentenced to the electric chair.
Silence
With little words to begin with, it’s difficult, I guess, to express everything lucidly. But as the saying goes, ‘there’s always a first time’, so it is never too late to get started. I don’t know whether I have something very specific to talk about but nevertheless since there is nothing much that I would rather do, it is time I let the demons inside my head do the talking for a change. So here goes………….
Quite often I have been very amazed by the misconceptions about me that have been going around. After all would it be very wrong to suggest that nobody knows me better than I do? Nobody’s hung around during the toughest of days when I have been left alone to figure out things for myself, and I have to say this, I am thankful that I have had the chance to do so, to see things for myself without being blindfolded and led to believe things I didn’t have a clue about.
As I was saying, it can be said with a fair degree of accuracy, that nobody is judged perfectly even fifty percent of the time, so misconceptions are a common phenomenon and have to be dealt with. All of us learn to do so the hard way, and I’m no exception.
However there come certain people into our lives who we believe know everything about us, forgetting that in this world, there are no absolutes, no certainties, no promises, just expectations and unfulfilled dreams.
Some people have called me a pessimist and I have vehemently denied being one. That is not to say that they are wrong and/or I am right. It’s just the way of seeing things, every individual is entitled to his own point of view, but it is wrong to pass a judgment without weighing all the pros and cons relating to the matter.
Somebody once said “I hate silence”. I hate it too, but I guess not in the same context. Unspoken words don’t amount to silence. Silence is sometimes a quality one needs to possess, when thoughts can be exchanged without exchanging words, but the understanding and bonding need to be there; without these silence is just………..the absence of sound.
Quite often I have been very amazed by the misconceptions about me that have been going around. After all would it be very wrong to suggest that nobody knows me better than I do? Nobody’s hung around during the toughest of days when I have been left alone to figure out things for myself, and I have to say this, I am thankful that I have had the chance to do so, to see things for myself without being blindfolded and led to believe things I didn’t have a clue about.
As I was saying, it can be said with a fair degree of accuracy, that nobody is judged perfectly even fifty percent of the time, so misconceptions are a common phenomenon and have to be dealt with. All of us learn to do so the hard way, and I’m no exception.
However there come certain people into our lives who we believe know everything about us, forgetting that in this world, there are no absolutes, no certainties, no promises, just expectations and unfulfilled dreams.
Some people have called me a pessimist and I have vehemently denied being one. That is not to say that they are wrong and/or I am right. It’s just the way of seeing things, every individual is entitled to his own point of view, but it is wrong to pass a judgment without weighing all the pros and cons relating to the matter.
Somebody once said “I hate silence”. I hate it too, but I guess not in the same context. Unspoken words don’t amount to silence. Silence is sometimes a quality one needs to possess, when thoughts can be exchanged without exchanging words, but the understanding and bonding need to be there; without these silence is just………..the absence of sound.
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