End of a journey

Im not sure how many people read my blog and frankly I dont really care,though I do ocassionally ask a few special people to see what I have written.
Anyway,what I really have to say is this-I am tired of crying,I am tired of begging,I am tired of my thoughts,and all these for someone I know doesnt care about these things.Yeah,I know,I know,you'll tell me she did love me a lot and it was me who broke her heart,it was me who broke her trust.........I know all of that,and believe me Im burdened with a lot of guilt.Did I not love her?I dont need to make people believe that,she knew and that is all that mattered to me,but now things are different.I had the doors shut on my face,I was told to leave,I was told not to call,and I obeyed.I let go of the most precious possesion I had and Im still reeling from the aftereffects.I still can't sleep at nights unless Im dead tired and even then my dreams haunt me.I still love her but she doesn't have to know.This is the last time I refer to her or our memories.It is a promise.............a promise to myself............a promise I have to honour for my own sake.I want to live,man.I have suffered enough for what I have done but today Im not prepared to carry this load anymore.Its the end of a journey,its the end of a path from where a new person will emerge,a person who has a lot to look forward to in life.That's all.