Lost

I think I'm losing it,day by day,hour by hour,my condition grows worse,like a disease.I feel so much hope at times at things look bright and gay all around me but then, there's always this place that I have to come back to,a place that unfortunately I call home.

It's a place of refuge,a shelter from the madding crowds outside,a relief from the hustle and bustle and competition of everyday life,a man's home is.I wish I could say the same thing about myself.My relationships,in all their varied forms have deteriorated to the brink of failure and I'm lost;this much at least I can admit.I'm sorry to say that what matters is the show of love,real feelings have no real value.In certain places I had a choice of staying away from such things and I have but in some places I continue to take this abuse day after day after day.I don't know where all of this will lead to,don't even know whether I'll survive at the end of it,if at all this comes to an end.