21st January,2004-19th June,2007 -An obituary

Life began with so much joy all around that it was difficult to take in all the happiness all at once.There was so much to look forward to,so many expectations.........so many unfulfilled dreams.At one point of time,what had held so much promise,is today,nothing more than the mangled remains of a life that could have been.
Childhood had been so sweet,it was all butterflies and blue skies draped in all the beautiful shades that adorn the western sky at dusk.It was a time of growing up,where one didn't have any expectations,the joy of life itself was an amazing inspiration to live for.Small insignificant little things abounded in laughter,there was music everywhere and a strange sort of warmth resided in the heart and it had promised never to leave.It was only natural,then to look forward to years and years of such unbounded happiness.
It is unfortunate that in the process of going forward the present is often ignored.So it was,that what began as the reason to live,now has to be confided to the trashbin of memory only because it is impossible to wipe out the memories of the best years of one's life.
Indeed,life has to go on inspite of all odds,but this feeling of incompleteness will perhaps linger on forever.

NEVER MIND WHAT I SAY

Had a really shitty day,so bad that its extending into the next.I dont really know when my day ends and when the next begins.Some nights when I dont go to sleep it feels like Im going through a 48 hour day and sometimes its even longer.
Thoughts get confused at a time like this,dont know whether its the alcohol or sleep or some wierd cocktail of both.Anyways I dont really care whether anybody reads this coz theres nothing here.I dont even know how Im managing to type.Im a genius,aint I?
Sometimes Im this person whos really sophisticated (atleast while blogging) and takes care to see that what he writes is right,but right now Im writing whatever I want to be it wrong or right,I dont give a damn.
Maybe Il delete this post as soon as Im sober but hey,atleast it will be up untill then.Theres so many things that have remained hidden inside of me,behind the mask of sobreity which has always been firewalling all the raw emotions Iv ever had.Lifes not bad at all.Its real fun to be here.And like the saying goes..........."all the worlds a stage"....................the only time that you aint acting is when you are dead,waiting your turn to be burned or buried or to be fed to the vultures...........

What's in a face?

I remember having stared at her face for hours on end and I had never seen her smile fade.Every single day her eyes had the same twinkle that I had seen the first day I put my eyes on her.It was as if she knew what I wanted and she was always ready with that smile of hers that cannot be described by words or any other means of expression.
It was a time before I knew what love was,and its not that I fell in love with her,but those eyes and that smile..............I just couldn't stop staring at her.
She was there whenever I needed her,whenever I needed that smile of hers,and I can proudly say that I was never disappointed.It seemed very strange that someone could be so pretty,or maybe it was just me who found her so.A thousand others also saw her all the time,Im sure,but I guess noone felt the way I felt for her.
This had gone on for quite a few days and I knew or rather prayed that she would always be there looking down with that wonderful grin,but one day she was no longer there.The place where we met every single day was deserted.I searched everywhere but found no trace of those magical eyes that had me spellbound for what had seemed like an eternity.She was not there......I just couldn't believe it.In her place there was this new advertisement about something I don't exactly remember now.The girl on the printed billboard was gone forever.

Just like that

Its true that sometimes I miss my old life a lot but Im happy with the way I am right now.Its often very difficult to explain things to others,even people who are very close,fail to understand.I would rather live alone,on my own where I answer to noone but to myself.
Maintaining superficial appearances is an art and somehow,though reluctantly,I have learnt to admire its usefulness......

Nothing in particular

Feelings are of no consequence ever so often. It's a mixed bag of happiness and sorrow and these days it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell one from the other.What gives so much joy at one time may one day become the greatest source of pain.
Its so easy to say "I've gone through it all",I've heard these words a million times and it irritates me to say the least.All of us believe in our inherent goodness,whatever mistake we make is just by chance.
Going by the title of this piece its easy to conclude that theres nothing in particular contained in it.I don't know what to say.At this point of my life Im confused about a lot of things but I don't even know how to ask the right question.